The latter half of 2023 and then well into 2024 I was struggling with a lot. From new levels of anxiety to concerns about my business, I was grasping for support in many ways.
In my last post I talked about how my library card changed some of my habits in unexpected ways, and an additional thing it did was give me access to all kinds of self-help books that, in the past, I wouldn’t have bought but since they were free through the library, I hit “place hold” on many of them.
From money mindset to Buddhist teachings, research on gut health to ideas of worthiness, I dove in. In the first few months of 2024 I read more than a dozen self-help books.
And I regretted it.
Some of the books were outright problematic and others were misleading. One self-help book in particular, about the wealth money can’t buy, was an immediate DNF for me because the author wrote it from their Italian villa after having worked with presidents, sports stars, and millionaires.
Other books did have helpful takeaways and I would take photo after photo of pages, only half-believing that I would go back to the phrase, the mantra, the idea that caught my eye. I began to blame myself for not implementing a book’s teachings and it felt irrational to be constantly consuming these books only to find myself feeling overwhelmed, like I was lacking, and generally down when I finished them. Was it possible to be burnt out from reading self-help books?
The answer is a resounding yes. Athleisure wear giant lululemon recently released a wellbeing report that found “the constant pressure to improve our wellbeing is actually making us less well.” Note: I am using wellness, wellbeing, and self-care interchangeably, but I would define all of them as a sense of working on and supporting your mental, physical, and spiritual health. The report goes on to say:
“We are stuck in a perpetual cycle where the more pressure we feel to be well, the less well we feel.”
Let’s pick this apart from a few angles.
First, the amount of information we’re privy to, from seven step skin care routines to how we should move our bodies, is overwhelming and often also contradictory. It isn’t uncommon to see content praising the carnivore diet and then read about how the vegan diet is the ultimate health solution. And often fear is mixed in to this type of information, that if you don’t do the right thing to support yourself you’ll end up sick. I’ve seen so many reels of people in grocery store aisles reading ingredient lists and telling me they are poison—not helpful. All this information makes it easy to feel paralysed or like you’ll never ‘get it right’ when it comes supporting your wellbeing.
So, second, that means we’re never measuring up because the underlying predatory message of self-care is that “we are inherently lacking, missing something external that we need to be well.” Think about it: constantly being sold a new anti-ageing cream reinforces ageing is inherently bad and should be avoided. For another example, the boom of GLP-1 use (you may know it as Wegovy or Ozempic) for stunningly quick weight loss reinforces the cultural acceptance of only a narrow definition of acceptable body size. Reflecting on my self-help reading habit, I kept hoping the next book and the next and the next would give me the piece/peace I was looking for. It kept me consuming, which makes wellness big business.
And, third, we are being sold to constantly.
In April 2024, the Global Wellness Institute announced that the wellness industry in the US is worth $1.8 trillion. This sector covers everything from beauty and vitamins, to gyms and spas. And the US isn’t alone: “Globally, the wellness economy drives 5.6% of total GDP—so, roughly 1 in every 20 dollars spent by consumers worldwide is on wellness.” And what is interesting is that countries that are seeing the biggest growth in the wellness sector, like the US, Canada, and Australia, are also the ones showing the highest rate of wellness burn out.
I can see how and why this industry is thriving: culturally we want answers to why we don’t feel well—is it sugar or screen time or [enter topic du jour here]? Not only is the marketing ever present, it is also difficult to get longer than 10 minutes with a medical practitioner or even have access to a primary care doctor given shortages. Wellness fills this gap and seems like a solution because buying something new feels like action when in reality it only scratches the surface.
One positive thing that I think did come from my search for wellness in books is that I began having the same nagging thought no matter the author or subject matter:
I can’t outsource my wellness; my personal intuition and experiences have to play a part in how I support my wellbeing.
Wellness and self-care are exhausting when dictated by others.
I had originally thought that by driving my own education through self-help books that I was tailoring my approach to wellness, but I found myself jumping from one book to the next and constantly felt like I was failing. I’d like to think that turning inwards is a great way to find my own path to wellness, but I am struggling to believe that I have the answers, that if I can only find more information then I’ll ‘get it’. Perhaps my next wellness step is deconditioning this societal idea that others can give me the answers I seek, but I’m no expert.
I’d love to know what you felt has worked for you in supporting your wellness. Do you think self-study and introspection with books, social media, and online content can be helpful? Or is it necessary to block out the wellness noise and dictate our personal rules and benchmarks?